Feeling Lonely? 4 Reasons Why & 4 Ways to Overcome it if You Feel Stuck

  |   Personal deveopment, Personal Growth   |   No comment


Why is it that some people struggle with feeling extremely lonely, even when there are plenty of people in the world and plenty of opportunities to connect?

Even in our high-tech social networking age where people have hundreds of online social connections, still many people feel lonely the majority of the time.

It is quite normal to feel lonely at times, but it can become a problem when you begin to feel extremely sad or aloof from society.


Please note that loneliness and solitude are two different things. Solitude is a willingness to be alone and not minding it, but loneliness is a nagging, empty feeling of being disconnected from people and craving more connection.



Introverts vs. Extroverts


Perhaps those who are more susceptible to loneliness are introverts, as they prefer to be alone quite a bit and can feel uncomfortable in groups or crowds. One reason is because they tend to absorb other people’s energy.

They also simply crave quiet spaces. Therefore, where an extrovert could thrive on much activity and noise in a crowd, an introvert can feel crazy with anxiousness and stimulus overload.

Extroverts tend to love to be around people and thrive in a crowd. Leaders, educators, politicians, performers, etc. tend to be extroverts.

They enjoy crowds and connecting one on one with a variety of people. They can become lonely at times, but chronic loneliness does not seem to be prevalent with such.

There are various reasons why people feel alone and lonely. Some of the most probable reasons besides being an introvert are:


4 Reasons for Being Lonely

1. Low Self-Worth

If you do not value yourself, you will carry around negative energy that causes you to repel people.

You actually may construct a pretty high wall that won’t allow people to get close to you. You want to connect with others, but because of your low self-worth and esteem, you don’t allow that connection to occur.

Because you do not have a high opinion of yourself, you think that others feel the same way about you.


2. Not Getting Appreciation

If people are not reciprocating the same love and appreciation that you have been showing towards them, this might also lead to you feeling unappreciated and lonely.

Perhaps you give and give to others, but you just don’t get a hearty “thank you”. You may feel like you are being taken advantage of, and this can cause you to feel lonely or alone.


3. Depression

If you are suffering from depression, you are more susceptible to feeling lonely. Sad people are not as motivated to connect with others.  When you feel sad and lethargic, even a simple telephone conversation seems like a big hassle.


4. Lack Of Social Skills

Some people have not learned adequate and effective social skills.

Therefore, a simple holiday gathering at work could pose a major problem if you do not know how to approach your coworkers and have a pleasant conversation.  It can also pose problems for meeting new friends.

4 Ways to Overcome Feeling Lonely

Many people do not understand whether they are actually alone or are just feeling lonely.

You are alone when there is no one in the room to talk to or no friends to share your thoughts with. It necessarily does not mean that you are feeling lonely.

However, if you’re feeling alone with twenty other people in the room or others in your home with whom you are familiar with and still do not want to engage in any conversations, you might be suffering from loneliness.


There are a variety of things that can be done to overcome loneliness whether you are an introvert or an extrovert.


1. Employ a positive outlook on life.

If your perspective is skewed, do something to change it. Begin by reading inspirational books, as this may help you see things in a new light. Avoid talking to or hanging around any person who gives you negative vibes.


2. Change your thoughts.

Ultimately, it is up to you to influence your thoughts and beliefs. Look at the kinds of thoughts you have been thinking and determine if they are predominantly positive or negative. If you are feeling lonely, chances are that they are mostly negative.


Do you think thoughts like,

  • “No one likes me?” or
  • “I’m not comfortable around people?”


If so, change those thoughts into more positive thoughts like,

  • “I am very likeable” and
  • “I like to be around people.”


Your thoughts influence your beliefs and emotions, so begin re-training your brain to think positive thoughts instead of negative.


3. Volunteer to join certain groups based on your interest.

Joining a group or cause is a great way for overcoming loneliness, since you will be able to mingle with likeminded people.


4. Get counseling.

If you are struggling with more loneliness than you can handle, do get some therapy.

A therapist can help you look at the possible reasons you are struggling so much. They can give you tools and resources that will help you to feel more confident, have better social skills, be content, happy, and free from loneliness.

Though occasional loneliness does occur in most people’s lives, chronic loneliness does not have to be part of your life.

If you are feeling lonely and would like to overcome this, take these tips into consideration. Know that you do not have to continue to wrestle with such a negative feeling. 

It only takes one quality social connection to take away the wretched feeling of loneliness, so be positive and hopeful that you can beat loneliness beginning today!


  • By Dominica
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